May 1st- College Matrimony Day

While today marks the first day of the fifth month of the year, it is significantly more than that for parents and high school seniors everywhere. Today is officially deposit day for many colleges and universities- the day you officially say “I do,” the acceptance to the offer. Reality has just been synched with the obscure- college is no longer a distant prize, but a palpable future. While the hand shakes considerably writing that first check (of many) to your child’s new four year home, it is a bittersweet moment to be acknowledged. Through all the pangs of SAT’s,ACT’s, AP’s, CAPT’s, mindful essays, common app navigation and sleepless nights worrying about things like roommates and dorm bedding the moment is here- the sigh of relief. You will wake tomorrow feeling refreshed and the new proud owner of a rising college freshman. Your child will wake thinking…just what they thought yesterday. In many respects, this moment is still a bit of a haze for them and it will not begin to sink in for your child until they officially wear their pristine college tee or sweatshirt to their high school’s college declaration day. It is the pinnacle moment when your high school senior feels they have one foot in high school and another in college. They look at all those high school moments with a different lens- their friends, teachers, school will all be traded in for a newer model in a few short months (and they fly by). Clarity speaks to them and soon the little moments of daily life that once were just glossed over come into a more meaningful perspective for them. They now realize they have one foot at home and another in college. Suddenly simplistic seconds paint a portrait of what they are leaving behind: her/his best friend, the dinner you served last night, the way the light streams into their bedroom window when they wake or the way the family dog wildly barks before the bus is even on your street, The unknown, rambling lawns, stately brick buildings, dining halls and total independence are the new life waiting for them. This life still lacks definition and will for some time as it is really the beginning of the many changes your child will experience over the next four years. Flying off to college may just seem another rite of passage and in today’s world a necessity as future contributor’s to our global world, but it doesn’t negate their feelings of apprehension. Those feelings while not completely palpable, may surface in a snarky remark, tears for no reason, or a bit of brooding and eye-rolling- all completely normal. High school seniors everywhere want to enjoy every second being a high school student- connecting to their friendships, family and having closure within them selves so they can feel secure on their own terms moving forward. This time of self-reflection is so important for their autonomy and transition to college. The next few months will be a whirlwind of prom, graduation and cheek-pinching relatives wishing them well and interrogating them about everything from their college choice to their college major. Their minds can’t wrap around the myriad of things they will need for their dorm and they are just as nervous about their new student housing as you are. Sage parental advice- let them share with you! They may not let you in on every nuance and may seem absorbed with the new Class of 2017 FB page, but that’s okay…after all, they may have one foot in college, but the other foot is firmly planted at home and all that it means to them. Just give them a kiss, a hug, stay calm and while riding this roller coaster, remember… this is not the close of a book, but the beginning of a new chapter; next one entitled…no college student ever comes home without laundry. The Collegeologist,an independent college consultation practice specializing in simplifying the college process for students and parents in the Farmington Valley area. Located at 395 West Avon Road in Avon (Across from All Star Driver) 860-673-1500 Complimentary one hour consultation. Visit us on FB and follow us on twitter @ the collegeologist